My way

Way to go BBC !

“BRITISH DUCKS HAVE REGIONAL ACCENTS, RESEARCHERS SAY”
—BBC NEWS HEADLINE, JUNE 4, 2004

Now that's what I'm calling a failure !

It was a synchronized robbery that still has police in Oak Ridge, Tennessee, scratching their heads. The first robber entered a local market and placed two dollars on the counter to attract the clerk’s attention. The second robber, gun in hand, burst through the door and demanded money. The clerk obliged by giving the second robber the first robber’s two dollars. Both robbers then beat a hasty retreat. According to a June 2009 article in the Oak Ridger, investigators still have no suspects in the crime.

S Is for Stupid: An Encyclopedia of Stupidity by Leland Gregory

Don't do plans this Christmas for next year because...

Unless you’re a fortune-teller, long-term business planning is a fantasy. There are just too many factors that are out of your hands: market conditions, competitors, customers, the economy, etc. Writing a plan makes you feel in control of things you can’t actually control. Why don’t we just call plans what they really are: guesses. Start referring to your business plans as business guesses, your financial plans as financial guesses, and your strategic plans as strategic guesses. Now you can stop worrying about them as much. They just aren’t worth the stress.

ReWork by Jason Fried, David Heinemeier Hansson

 

Need more ammo ! I'm going downtown :)

A scientist in Atlanta collected more than ten pounds of shell casings from the city’s streets during lunch hours. The casings ranged from .22-caliber bullets to AK-47 assault rifle ammunition. Commenting on the scientist’s collection, police officials in Atlanta said that didn’t necessarily mean the city isn’t safe. Perhaps, they said, people were firing their weapons elsewhere and leaving the shells in Atlanta. Now that’s a long shot.

S Is for Stupid: An Encyclopedia of Stupidity by Leland Gregory

 

La multi ani Romania !

Rezoluția votată de Marea Adunare Națională, proclama:

1. Deplină libertate națională pentru toate popoarele conlocuitoare. Fiecare popor se va instrui, administra și judeca în limba sa proprie prin indivizi din sânul său și fiecare popor va primi drept de reprezentare în corpurile legiuitoare și la guvernarea țării în proporție cu numărul indivizilor ce-l alcătuiesc.
2. Egală îndreptățire și deplină libertate autonomă confesională pentru toate confesiunile din Stat.
3. Înfăptuirea desăvârșită a unui regim curat democratic pe toate tărâmurile vieții publice. Votul obștesc, direct, egal, secret, pe comune, în mod proporțional, pentru ambele sexe, în vârstă de 21 de ani la reprezentarea în comune, județe ori parlament.
4. Desăvârșită libertate de presă, asociere și întrunire, libera propagandă a tuturor gândurilor omenești.
5. Reforma agrară radicală. Se va face conscrierea tuturor proprietăților, în special a proprietăților mari. În baza acestei conscrieri, desființând fidei-comisele și în temeiul dreptului de a micșora după trebuință latifundiile, i se va face posibil țăranului să-și creeze o proprietate (arător, pășune, pădure) cel puțin atât cât o să poată munci el și familia lui. Principiul conducător al acestei politici agrare e pe de o parte promovarea nivelării sociale, pe de altă parte, potențarea producțiunii.
6. Muncitorimei industriale i se asigură aceleași drepturi și avantagii, care sunt legiferate în cele mai avansate state industriale din Apus.
7. 

Damn staples !

An AIDS-awareness drive distributed thousands of government-issued safe-sex packs in South Africa that included free condoms and information about AIDS. The packs were soon recalled when it was discovered that the free condoms had been attached to the pamphlets with staples.

S Is for Stupid: An Encyclopedia of Stupidity by Leland Gregory

Damn machine !

A man in Eureka, California, was caught on surveillance cameras stealing coins from a soda vending machine. Apparently thirsty after stealing all the cold, hard cash, the man put some of the change back into the machine to get a drink. The soda machine malfunctioned and didn’t dispense his soda. Outraged at the machine and how it had “eaten his money,” the thief, still on tape, mind you, wrote a note on the machine with his name and phone number and the amount of money the machine owed him. I wonder if during his arraignment he paid his bond entirely in quarters.

S Is for Stupid: An Encyclopedia of Stupidity by Leland Gregory

Is not over 'till is over :)

Jason Durant, a novice bank robber, successfully robbed the National Iron Bank in New Milford, Connecticut, and escaped with an undisclosed amount of cash. He ran behind the bank building to make his getaway, accidently lost his footing, and tumbled down a steep hill. During his head-over-heels roll, Durant lost control of the bank bags and his gun and managed to break his leg in several places. But that’s not all, according to an April 30, 2009, article in the Waterbury (CT) Republican-American. Durant then smashed into a plow blade, leaving him with an enormous gash and only two dollars from the robbery money. When he showed up bloodied and bruised at the hospital, a suspicious staff member notified police and he was arrested.

S Is for Stupid: An Encyclopedia of Stupidity by Leland Gregory

When I don't care.....

aaaa...what's up doc ?

The following are actual diagnostic notations given by doctors.

“The patient is married but sexually active.”

“She does indeed have a fear of frying and mental problems that she attributes to deep-fat fryers.”

“The patient’s father died at age sixty-five, but he has not been seen for some time.”

“The patient has crap in his cast with walking [instead of ‘cramps in his calves’]”.

“When standing with eyes closed, he missed his right finger to his nose and has to search for it on the left side.”

“The patient is a fifty-three-year-old police officer who was found unconscious by his bicycle.”

“Her father died from a heart attack at age twelve.”

S Is for Stupid: An Encyclopedia of Stupidity by Leland Gregory